I was sick last week: a sinus infection and then a reaction to the antibiotic prescribed for it, and then a new antibiotic… and boy did all that kick my ass. Having no choice but to rest, I had to miss teaching most of my classes, and when I did go back to work, I couldn’t make it a full day. During that time, I did a lot of thinking, and had a lot of questions around my art practice. Some self-doubt crept in too, and it was when I came out on the other end this week, that the gratitude of feeling better – of having the energy to get back to some exercise and to feel like I was firing on all cylinders when teaching – that I had a new perspective on my work.
In the last few years, because my practice extended into mediums other than painting and drawing, I have wondered if I was diluting my work, or missing out on the kind of growth that comes with focusing on one medium, or if I might be perceived as not being a serious artist, and on and on… the kind of thinking that might sometimes help strengthen beliefs, but that more often brings on generally crappy feelings.
The kind of gratitude I am feeling – the kind that comes from feeling OK after having been sick – is a clarity that I am on the right path and that I am growing as an artist. The growth is subtle now and my path isn’t linear, but that’s OK.
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This painting That Good Darkness is available from Artfolios here.